Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
