i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
you know you should be lucky to find the case to my dildo....that means no more random guys at the house!
Randomize
