Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
There's hot sauce all over my mirror, lamp shade and dresser. Also it's your turn for weed
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
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