I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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