Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
i think my mom watched the whole time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
We're too hungover to prance.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize