its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
He did a backflip because drugs
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
Randomize
