the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
Randomize
