well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
