It wouldn't matter if you are Jesus Christ himself, you are not getting into the bar tonight
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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