dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
How to not get laid: tell him he reminds you of your brother. While having sex. Thanks, vodka.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
