my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
i just googled "what is oprah really like?" how do YOU think my night is going?
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
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