let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
GUESS WHAT I JUST LICKED
I feel like half our conversations start this way.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Randomize
