good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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