I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
I wish i was in the wii world.
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
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juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
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Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
THERE ARE SO MANY HOT DADS AT WHOLE FOODS
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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