Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize