If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the only human I can compare her to is rosie o'donnell.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.