I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
