Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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