She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I'm staying at his house to solve the homeless situation. There's a freezer bag of weed in the fridge. He doesn't know it's there, and he's not missing it so I may have an income soon.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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