As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
