So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
