What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
