i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
Randomize
