Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
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