Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
You made out with two different species that night
The fact that me being able to walk down stairs is an accomplishment in my books pretty much explains how I am
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
