White coat. Heels.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
She got subburned last week and her bikini ties in the middle...when I took off her shirt, there was a sunburned bow between her boobs. Like a present. Happy birthday to me!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize