I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Dignity is for republicans.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
Randomize
