the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
As shirtless as possible
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Randomize
