I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
