The spoon I was using to ice my hickey just fell out of my purse while i was paying at the liquor store. I look like an alcoholic with a meth problem.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
well, you know. whores of a feather.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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