Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
