Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
