Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
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