Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize
