erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
I started singing the national anthem on a train in London. Happy 4th of July assholes
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Randomize
