i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize