apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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