You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
