it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
