I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
Randomize
