how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I was just shot with a dart gun by one of my coworkers while walking to the printer. Ironically I was printing my resignation letter...
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Randomize
