Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You need to find a way to go down on me and lick my toes at the same time
I'll google it
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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