The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
Randomize
