Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Oh my god there's only so much masturbating one can do before one wants to fucking cry
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
