i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
