mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
In hindsight, the torn ligament in my knee is probably the fault of the ginbucket and jager bombs starting at 3pm. I guess I'll stop blaming it on you.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Randomize
