it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize
