Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
In fairness you've introduced me to a lot of people I've only met once, for like 5 seconds, while drunk
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".