CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
