Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
Randomize
