So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
