addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
