So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
