She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
I need your help immediately! I sorta kinda sliced my foot off at the ankle with my new kitana. Bring your cooler, ice and some hospital road beers.
Randomize