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• (970): View more from Colorado

  I want to walk on stilts...naked

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.

  (1-402): View more from Nebraska

  Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.

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• (802): View more from Vermont

  I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.

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• (763): View more from Minnesota

  I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.

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• (515): View more from Iowa

  officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee

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• (863): View more from Florida

  And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?

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• (707): View more from California

  New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice

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• (562): View more from California

  So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.

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• (541): View more from Oregon

  So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"

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• (360): View more from Washington

  I'm honestly wondering if my vagina did something to offend the universe

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• (402): View more from Nebraska

  Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.

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• (917): View more from New York City

  Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!

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• (970): View more from Colorado

  Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!

  (1-970): View more from Colorado

  She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!

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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.

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