I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
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