i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
