drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
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My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
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Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
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