Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
