I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
why is my new profile picture on Facebook one of me with a bunch of strangers on an elevator?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
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