that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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