I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
