me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
Accidentally peeing a little on the couch in the middle of a sneeze is way different from railing a random on our waffle counter. I am the better roommate.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Just put on slippers before underwear so you know where my priorities are
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
Randomize
