69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
Randomize
